About Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
Emotionally Focused Therapy, founded by Dr. Sue Johnson, is known as a scientific approach to deepening couple bonds. EFT integrates over 50 years of research based on attachment theory, along with perspectives from experiential process and systems theory, providing a clear map for understanding how intimate relationships form, where they stumble, and how they can be repaired. Sue describes emotions as “the music that moves the relationship dance between two people,” and states that when emotional signals are misaligned, couples fall into negative cycles (patterns) of pursuing (criticizing or questioning the partner) and withdrawing (avoiding emotions or avoiding engagement). EFT not only addresses these cycles but also carefully touches upon the vulnerable, deeper emotions that lie beneath the surface.
Change in EFT occurs in the “here and now moments” during sessions. The therapist helps partners understand their deep emotions, fears, and needs (what they seek), shape them into clearer messages, and then creates opportunities for them to communicate these directly to each other. Through this process, the couple moves away from defensive reactions and begins to experience new ways of relating where they can be responsive to one another. EFT works collaboratively to first help couples exit negative cycles, then rebuild their bond through safer and more direct emotional exchanges, and finally establish these new ways of relating so that the changes can be maintained in daily life. Dr. Johnson emphasizes that the goal of EFT is not simply to improve communication, but to build a “secure bond” where partners can safely support each other, and that this process cannot proceed if emotional and physical safety cannot be ensured.
